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• A PhD joke:

There's a ruinous misconception that a Ph.D. must be smart.

This can't be true.

A smart person would know better than to get a Ph.D.

• Greg Morrisett about Robert Harpert at CMU:

Towards the end of my graduate career, I had figured something out and was excited to show Bob. I went up to his office but couldn’t find him. In fact, he disappeared for a whole week. (I later found out he was trying to solve all of the puzzles in the "Myst" CD-ROM game that was all the rage back then.) When I finally tracked him down, I started writing on the white board and got about half-way through explaining whatever it was that so excited me. Bob kept interrupting me with questions. I got so frustrated that I finally just threw the white board marker at him and yelled at him to “Shut up!” At that point, he leaned back in his chair, smiled, and said, "Now you’re ready to graduate."

• Tom Murphy VII about Robert Harper:

I believe Bob is the smartest person I’ve met, although to be polite I should exclude anyone currently reading this (can’t exclude Bob, though, or the statement is ill-formed).

• From The story of math - Part 4

There's kind of a rule in seminars that first it's for everyone. Second is for the experts, and the last is just for the lecturer.

• Found from here (I guess it is referring to the end result?):

The real monad is the friends that we made along the way.

• Found online (not yet sure what it means, but it looked clever):

git gets easier once you get the basic idea that branches are homeomorphic endofunctors mapping submanifolds of a Hilbert space.

• Found online (not complete sure of the implications, but looked clever):

If you choose an answer to this question at random, what is the chance that you will be correct:
- A: 25%
- B: 0%
- C: 50%
- D: 25%

• In C, names of global variables should start with //. - Found online

• Found as a comment in a numberphile video:

Mathematician and engineer are set on a line one meter away from a million dollars.

Judge says "every minute, you are able to half the distance to money"

Mathematician immediately gives up, but the engineer takes the first step. Mathematician tells him "why do you bother? You will never be able to reach it, you can't halve to zero"

Engineer answers "yes, but at some point I will be close enough for practical use"

• Found from this video (many other jokes are there in comments):

A math guy walks into a bar.

Math guy: Give me 10 times the quantity of beer than what anyone else here has ordered.
Barman: Wow.. That's an order of magnitude.

---

Q: What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
A: Nothing!
Because you can't cross a vector with a scalar.

(Mosquitoes are vectors, carrier of diseases.
Mountain climber scales mountains.)

• There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand binary, those that don't, and those that didn't expect this joke to be in ternary. - A youtube comment

• Found in a chat group oriented towards category theory:

E1: Why is this chat empty? Category theory is so good!
E2: Just make an incorrect statement or a comparison that lacks complete scope or nuance, and it will spring to life.
E3: A functor is a container of values, right?
E4: Are you taking E2's advice?

• I just read the word 'cohere' and my brain just automatically transformed that to 'there' - Michael Zhangˡ

• Found on fediverseˡ:

$ printf "The SHA-256 hash of this sentence begins with 0573e7473." | sha256sum
0573e74731e90fed80059d65263d300d58c4a452012a69c56f0a58fcae0605ad  -